I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
