The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
there is puke in my bra ... again
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