I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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