just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
