3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
