The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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