Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
