im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
