wrigley field is MILF paradise
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
