So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
