Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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