did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
