I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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