Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
