so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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