This girl is more easily done than said...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
