Your dad touched me again.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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