In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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