I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
