Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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