Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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