Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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