I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
