Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
