How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
