I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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