Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
