I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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