I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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