i think my tv is drunk
Your mouth is God's brothel.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
porn star boner night. come get it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I came so hard my ears popped.
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