windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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