It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize