his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
