Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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