Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
