No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
