She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize