Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
