Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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