is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Someone shattered a urinal.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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