I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
