My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
