I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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