whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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