dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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