Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
