went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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