You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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