I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize