You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
