i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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