if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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