it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
