Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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