I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
