Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
