we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
