You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
