i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
