I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
