This girl is more easily done than said...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
