Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
