Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
